This morning I was working on a little collage of “9 Months In vs. 9 Months out” of my husband and I with our baby girl. While I was looking at that picture of Hunter and I standing in our nursery, ready to go on our last date night as a family of 2, I reflected on what my feelings were that night. The next day we would go into the hospital to begin my induction, on our due date. I remember feeling so nervous, but also relieved that we would finally be having our baby and that I wouldn’t wonder if every little cramp was labor.
I remember being nervous, lying in bed, uncomfortable, wondering what the next 48 hours would bring. Thinking of what it would be like to bring our baby home and being a family. I was nervous, very nervous, about the induction and the hospital stay. I was nervous for the kind of world and country we would be bringing our daughter into. I was nervous for the kind of people she would eventually have to meet. It’s a crazy, beautiful, exciting world we live in, but still scary and messy. I can’t protect her forever, but at least when she’s still inside me I have a better chance. I remember being nervous for her going to school and her first boyfriend. I remember thinking of when she has her first fight with her best friend. I thought of her growing up and not wanting me to snuggle her anymore, or thinking her mom is annoying. I thought about her becoming a big sister someday. Wondering if I had everything ready and if I was prepared. I remember feeling nervous and scared and restless. But I also remember the excitedness. The jitters of excitement when I thought of bringing her home and showing her the adorable nursery we worked so hard on. I remember being excited about introducing her to our dog, Harley. I remember being excited to introduce her to all of the special people in her life. I was excited to think about all the trips we would take and the travels around the world together. I remember being confident in the work Hunter and I had done with our home to be ready for a baby. I was confident that Hunter would be an amazing father and would provide for us. I was confident that the hospital we were going to would be ready and we would have an easy birth and stay. I was confident in my doctor and that she would make the right decisions for us. I remember praying, rambling on and on to our God. Praying that I would be a good mom and make the right decisions for our family. Praying that one day, God would put the perfect boy in her life, like he did for me. Praying that she has friends like mine, who help her grow. I remember going to sleep thanking the Lord that I was healthy and that my pregnancy was healthy. I remember thanking God that I was able to go full-term and that my baby girl looked healthy. Through all the nervousness, I was thankful, happy, and excited. I went to sleep praising God for this ability to bring a baby into the world and for choosing me to bring this baby, our baby, into our home. I remember finding peace in our God that he would do what is right for us and our family. Feeling at peace that he has already written my life, Hunter’s life, and Thea’s. He has written the lives of any other future babies we may have. Our God is perfect, and he does not make mistakes. We will never be perfect, but I am thankful our God is forgiving. I am thankful our God is amazing and gives us these miracles of life. Today as Thea turns 9 months old, I am nothing but thankful. For Hunter, for our home, for our family and friends. Thankful God chose me to be Thea’s mama and that He chose Hunter to be her daddy. Thankful for the opportunities He gives us and the joy He provides. I sit here watching Thea bounce away in her bouncer, not a care in the world, healthy, and happy as can be. Giggling and babbling, saying “mama” and “dada”. And all I can do is smile.
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welcomeHi! I am SO glad you are here! Having a blog has always been an idea in the back of my head but I never knew what I would even write about. I have always believed that I was put on this Earth to be a mom, and now that I am, I know what I can write about! I feel that I have so much to say and share and if I can help or inspire just one other person, I will be so happy! Archives
August 2021
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