Today was a long day. A great day, but very long. I always love the way my days start. I typically put baby in bed with me when I wake up so she wakes up next to me, I love to see her excitement. We have a slow morning and get lunch ready. In the afternoon, the nap doesn’t seem to happen as easily as usual. Teething has been rough, and I hate that I can’t do more to help. We sneak in 15-30 minute naps, but not much longer than that. In between changing the laundry and dirty diapers, short feeds and quick naps, the afternoon drags on. I make supper plans with friends to do a quick catch up while bouncing a tired baby.
Bedtime is getting closer as night time comes. Baby girl loves the night time and starts to come alive with her new found voice and wiggles. We play and sing and soak up all the happy-baby time. Before I know it, midnight rolls around and it really, really needs to be time for some much needed sleep, but that's easier said than done. 15, 20, 25, 30… 45 minutes go by and you’re starting to lose hope, but finally a quiet sleep falls over her face and relief washes over you and it’s finally time to relax. As you lie in bed looking at her sweet, peaceful face, you start to feel a longing for that same peace. All day, you’ve juggled being a mom, a wife, keeping a home, and being a student. You’re so tired. But you miss her, you miss her smile and snuggles and fight the urge to pull her into bed to cuddle. I’ve wanted this peace and quiet for hours but now that I have it, I miss her and the new sounds and babbles she’s learned just this week. I just stare, not wanting her to wake up, but feeling a little hole in my heart, missing her, even though she’s just feet away. I cherish our time together and I know she won’t be little long; I remind myself that every day. I love these quiet moments, but live for the laughs, snuggles, squeals and wiggles. I know tomorrow will be here soon, and we will do it all over again, but for now, I miss her. I look at pictures and watch videos of her on my phone as I wonder if I did everything right and if she had a good day. I think about all the things I could’ve done differently, and the different choices I could’ve made. I wonder what she will be when she’s older, and what she will choose to do with her life. I wonder what tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year will bring for us. I miss her already, for just the few moments she’s been asleep. As hard as today was, I can’t wait to do it all over again tomorrow. I am thankful for days with my baby and pray for many more hard days to come.
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welcomeHi! I am SO glad you are here! Having a blog has always been an idea in the back of my head but I never knew what I would even write about. I have always believed that I was put on this Earth to be a mom, and now that I am, I know what I can write about! I feel that I have so much to say and share and if I can help or inspire just one other person, I will be so happy! Archives
August 2021
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